Do you give yourself enough time and space to simply 'be'?
It's common to get caught up in our busy lives; neglecting to give ourself the space and time we need to rest, reintegrate and feel restored.
Most of us know that allowing ourself space and time to 'be' can support our wellbeing. Though it's not always honoured; often perceived as a luxury rather than a necessity. Perhaps you talk about wanting more space in your life, though when the moment arrives you keep yourself busy to fill the void or distract yourself.
Your mind may convince you that more space now equals more work later; that there's sacrifice. So it becomes easy to put it off until tomorrow. After all, you've got work to do, deadlines to meet, and people to support. If you gave yourself more space to rest and restore, how would you keep up? Wouldn't you be letting people down? Wouldn't you lose control over your life?
It might seem that way. However, I've found that the opposite is true. The more space I give myself, the more grounded and empowered I feel. Rather than life spinning out of control, it comes into balance. I create a stronger foundation for my life and relax into a deeper sense of ease within myself. It allows me to show up fully; giving more of who I am to others and the world.
It takes a conscious commitment to slow down and genuinely give yourself space to 'be'. To connect with who you are in a way that is supportive for your whole body and self. For me, that shift from constantly busy-ness to allowing myself space, wasn't an overnight transformation. It took a willingness to change my way of being in the world. However, it was a lot simpler than I thought. The reward for honoring my own time and space has been huge. It's helped me cultivate a deeper experience of wellbeing in my life, and a more empowered relationship with my true self.
Here's the approach I took:
1. Start small, allowing the space in your life to expand naturally.
One of the biggest reasons we put off giving ourself space, is that we think we need large periods of time. But what if you gave yourself just 5 minutes a day? Or even a minute?
During that time, there's nothing you need to do and no rules about what your 'space' should look like. Simply allow yourself to 'be' with who you are. You might choose to sit or lie down quietly, or find a space that inspires you. Rest in the moment and soak up the experience. Over time, you'll find you're drawn towards giving yourself more and more space.
2. Stop putting limits on how much time and space is 'enough'.
There's no formula for how much space is 'enough'. It's something you have to feel and decide for yourself. What you need may be very different to the next person. If you allow it, your thoughts can override your true needs of what your body and deepest self is craving. So I encourage you to tune into your body, listen deeply, and sense what feels right for you. Then follow that; trusting your body.
The amount of time and space you need for yourself may change from day to day, month to month, and year to year. That's natural! Feeling well and balanced within who you are can only be created by listening to your true self and honouring those needs in your life.
3. Schedule time with yourself and stick to your commitment.
Perhaps you find it easy to schedule and commit to others; but when it comes to scheduling time for yourself, you brush it aside as less important? If this sounds like you, I'd encourage you to schedule appointments with yourself in your diary. Then, make sure you stick to them.
Once you start appreciating the importance of your self-relationship and honouring your commitments, you'll feel and see the benefits in your life. Before you know it, giving yourself space to simply 'be' will become an effortless, joyful, and integral part of your life.
What are some of the ways you slow down and allow yourself some free time? Let us know in the comments section below!
Marissa Håkansson is an embodiment coach and counsellor. She supports women to connect with their body and be present within their whole self; using that inner connection as the foundation for experiencing deeper fulfilment, meaning and expression in life. Marissa's approach is practical and down-to-earth; inspired by her own journey of living with a chronic illness, being out of touch with her body, feeling disconnected from others, and trapped in a life that was out of sync with who she was. Marissa is based in Sydney, Australia and works with women and groups worldwide. Visit her website expresswhoyouare.com or follow her on Facebook.
Images via: Casey Grett