As a mom, I have always felt that if the oxygen masks came down on a plane, there is no way I could put mine on before my kids. It just felt all wrong to me to even entertain that idea.
Women especially put everything (partners, employers, careers, kids, friends, family, chores) before themselves. And when you are a "people pleaser," you end up feeling burnt out, "letting yourself go," maybe depressed (or bouts of depression), and you are harder on yourself than anyone else.
All people - women, men, kids - need to truly learn to love themselves before they can truly care for and deeply love others.
I know you may not agree with me as you are reading this - so I want you to read this book: "Love Yourself: Your Life Depends On It”, by Kamal Ravikant. It will take you 30 minutes to read the entire thing, but it is crucial to understanding this concept of self-love.
Before your feet hit the floor in the morning, count 5 -10 things you love about yourself and/or are grateful for.
..and before you fall asleep, do the same thing.
It will change how your days, weeks, months, etc unfold; you will wake up excited for the day; and amazing things will happen in life.
One more quick story:
Darren Hardy told this story when I heard him speak a couple of years ago and I want to share it with you.
He was annoyed with his wife of many years. They had kids, busy lives, and he felt like she had changed and become very annoying, high maintenance, and he was feeling like maybe he didn't love her anymore....
So he decided to try something.
He's a smart guy, and realized maybe he needed to change HIS perceptions. So every day for a year, he wrote down 1 thing he was grateful for about his wife or 1 thing he loved or appreciated about her.
In a couple of weeks, he noticed his wife had changed! She wasn't so annoying and he was feeling more in love with her.
He kept doing this and gave the journal to her for her birthday. I'm sure you can imagine how much she loved it.
In doing this, he realized, she didn't magically change. SHE had no idea he was focusing on appreciating her more. BUT in the practice of appreciation, he focused on the GOOD and the good expanded.
You owe it to yourself to do the same thing.